I really, really hate this. I've been wasted for 9 months, 9 months I will never get back. I hate the way I've done things, I hate the way I've been rejected, I've hate all the bad things leading up to what happened today.

Hello, again

Man, this is gonna be one of the biggest challenges I've ever had. How will I attract Honey again?

Obviously, I'm not gonna simply move on, as it just makes me like a lazy quitter, which won't really make me any better. I wouldn't simply submit if I wanted something really badly; I'd have to work for it. I need to try harder, even though the odds are stacked against me.

I will admit the guy's got the advantage of attracting her away from me. He is also assumed to see her at school every day, or may even be a neighbor. I can't even tell what the more probable reaction is.

I'll admit I may only see her 1-4 times a week, but I do have some, even if a little knowledge about her. I guess I can assume what makes her tick. I also have a potential advantage/disadvantage of being around her parents. Maybe God could even be on my side (who knows?).

I guess I could try to think of ways to re-attract her, maybe like:

-putting on some sort of good performance (ie: acting, singing, etc.)
-setting a good example around her parents (esp. stepdad)
-improving social skills (must-have)

I guess that's all I can think of. I'm hoping to go against these sudden obstacles. Wish me luck, I guess.

P.S. I accept any suggestions.

Hi.

Lately, I've been delving into my imagination more often. It seems like I either don't want to get back into real life, or my imagination gets mixed with real life. I'm also getting pounded by home and school. I wish I could just be my own person for a while. I dislike this point in life. I wish my parents never had these stress problems they usually have. I am just repelled by my parent's behaviors over the past few months. I guess all I have left is the Holy Trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost) my 11 close friends (Manny, Michael, Jonathan, Kevin, Julito, Gerardo, Nena, Vicky, Mike, and Tevin), and my girlfriend (sort of) Dtahany. I wonder when all this misery and anger will end. That will be the day...

Well, my problem with Da 5 has been resolved (for the most part). However, I have been told by my girlfriend Dtahany that she will be leaving back to Arizona or Mexico in a year or two. Just when I thought I had a miracle, I guess it was temporary. Well, since I don't have any taste on any other girl I've known, I've decided tackle a near-impossible task: seriously devote to my band, and try to make a nationwide tour, starting in Camden, my hometown and current city, and ending wherever city she moves to. This will take a few years to work, but it could happen. In the meantime, I will try to make her next year or two here feel great. I hope to see her again out west, and I hope we're both still together again. I mean this as a personal promise.

My 8th grade year just went to hell!

A few weeks ago, I told a fellow classmate that her friend (the one I formerly loved) was a whore, and I didn't care if she told. And so, she got very pissed and started flaming my inbox with threats, blasphemy, a bunch of names, and saying gay comments.

I would have came up with better stuff had I have thought of it at that time. Well, I'm not really mad, as shrieked by her. I simply built up my defense of words and set up plots against her, one of which gave me the inspiration for "The Dickrider", calling her little group "Da 5" (NPMNS) a bunch of dickriders.

Where it got worse:

As I got to school for Orientation (sucks, right?), I was told that I might potentially be in the exact same class next year because we have to do Spanish II. I believe there might be a 3 on 5 fight, with my boys and I winning, because of our high quality structures. Before that, though, my friends and I got some pranks to pull next year.